New studies suggest that a supportive home environment and specific praise focusing on effort are more influential in shaping children’s self-esteem than constant compliments or innate talent praise, emphasising the importance of warmth and responsiveness in parenting.
For years, many parents have assumed that frequent praise is the route to healthier self-esteem in children. But research suggests that what matters most is not how often children are told they are clever or talented, but the wider atmosphere in which they are raised.
A long-running study led by Ulrich Orth, following 8,711 people from birth to age 27, found that the strongest early predictors of later self-esteem were the quality of the home in the first six years, including parenting, cognitive stimulation and the absence of severe stress factors such as maternal depression or extreme poverty. The effect was real but not all-powerful, and it weakened over time, suggesting that no single ingredient, praise included, shapes a person’s sense of worth on its own. A separate study of 674 families, with follow-up from ages 10 to 16, reached a similar conclusion: parental warmth mattered more than constant compliments.
That warmth, researchers stress, is not just about saying nice things. It refers to love, support, acceptance and responsiveness to a child’s needs. The evidence also points to a two-way relationship, with children who already feel more secure often helping to create more positive family interactions in return. In other words, self-esteem is not simply manufactured by parents; it develops through a dynamic relationship between child and environment.
When it comes to praise itself, the details matter. Studies tracking children in their homes found that those who heard more praise focused on effort or specific actions were more likely years later to believe abilities can grow and change. By contrast, praise aimed at the child as a person, such as saying they are very smart, did not bring the same benefit. The lesson from the research is clear: it is better to praise the process than to inflate the label.
That broader picture also fits with lifespan studies showing that self-esteem is relatively stable but still changes over time. Research published in the journal Psychology and Aging found that it tends to rise from adolescence into midlife, peak around ages 50 to 60, then decline in later years. Another long-term study using data from 451 families found that parental warmth and economic conditions remained important during adolescence, reinforcing the idea that a supportive home environment does far more than a stream of compliments ever could.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical judgment, advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
