When teenage hair-pulling needs more than a reminder to stop

Repeatedly pulling hair from the scalp, eyebrows or eyelashes can be more than a habit. Here is how parents can recognise the signs and find calm, practical support.

What your daughter is doing sounds less like a simple bad habit and more like a body-focused repetitive behaviour, a category that includes hair-pulling from the scalp, eyebrows, or eyelashes. In younger children, hair-twirling and thumb-sucking are often harmless self-soothing habits, but as children enter later childhood and the early teen years, repeated hair-pulling can take on a different character. According to the Mayo Clinic, trichotillomania often emerges around the early teens, commonly between ages 10 and 13, and can lead to visible hair loss, embarrassment, and distress.

That does not mean every child who pulls hair has a serious psychiatric disorder. In many cases, the behaviour waxes and wanes, and children may do it without much awareness, especially when they are tired, bored, or under stress. The Cleveland Clinic notes that some people pull hair in response to anxiety or tension, while others are driven by a sensory urge, such as a hair feeling “wrong”. For some, the act is oddly relieving in the moment, which is one reason it can be difficult to stop once it becomes established.

At 15, your daughter is old enough that this may no longer be something she simply outgrows on its own. The most important clue is that she can stop when confronted, but returns to the behaviour as soon as she is alone again. That pattern suggests the urge is still active even if she is able to suppress it briefly. It also makes the problem more likely to respond to structured help than to repeated scolding. Simply telling her to stop may work in the moment, but it rarely changes the underlying pattern.

The most effective approach is usually behavioural rather than punitive. The Trichotillomania Learning Centre describes Habit Reversal Training as a standard treatment, built around four main elements: noticing the urge earlier, substituting another action, changing the surroundings to make pulling harder, and getting support from others. In practice, that might mean helping your daughter identify when she is most likely to pull, keeping her hands busy with something else, or using a fidget item during reading, homework, or screen time. Cleveland Clinic and Mayo Clinic both note that professional treatment can help, and that therapy is often the best route when the habit is persistent or causing hair loss.

It is also worth paying attention to what this behaviour means emotionally. Hair-pulling can occur alongside anxiety, stress, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, but it does not automatically mean a child has a major mental health disorder. Many people who struggle with it are otherwise healthy and functioning well. What matters most is whether the habit is causing damage, distress, or shame. If your daughter is already hiding it, or if the eyebrow and eyelash loss is becoming noticeable, that is a strong sign to seek help now rather than waiting to see if it disappears.

So yes, some children do grow out of hair-pulling, and the pattern can come and go over time. But because your daughter is now in her mid-teens and the behaviour involves the eyebrows and eyelashes, it would be wise to treat it as something that may need active help rather than something to ignore. A therapist familiar with body-focused repetitive behaviours can teach practical tools, and early intervention often makes the habit much easier to manage. In the meantime, calm support is likely to help more than repeated correction.