Michele Borba highlights how consistent discipline, gratitude routines, and fostering empathy can combat entitlement in children amid rising indulgence trends.
Parents often find it easier to give in than to hold the line when a child is upset. But child psychologist Michele Borba says that when yielding becomes the default, children can start to assume that every wish should be met immediately. Writing for CNBC, Borba argues that these habits can be changed, even if the first response to firmer boundaries is resistance.
Borba identifies five warning signs that a child may be becoming overly indulged. One is difficulty accepting “no” as an answer, with the child repeatedly pushing against limits. Another is a strong preference for receiving rather than giving, often marked by a lack of gratitude and frequent demands for more. She also points to impatience, self-centred behaviour and a pattern of never being satisfied with what is already owned.
Her advice begins with a simple but often difficult task for parents: saying “no” without guilt. Borba says children do not need every desire met to feel secure. What they do need are clear, age-appropriate boundaries, delivered calmly and with a brief explanation. Instead of long negotiations, a short response such as “First homework, then play” can help children understand that limits are part of family life.
Borba also urges parents to reward behaviour that shows consideration for others, rather than focusing praise only on marks, wins or personal achievement. If a child helps a classmate, shares toys or cooperates well, that behaviour deserves attention. She suggests that parents shift the conversation from “What did you get?” to “What kind thing did you do today?” so children learn that kindness and cooperation matter too.
Another theme in Borba’s guidance is gratitude. Small routines can help make appreciation part of everyday life. Younger children might draw something they are thankful for, while older ones can keep a gratitude journal. Families can also talk at the table about good moments from the day. The point is not ceremony for its own sake, but building a habit of noticing what has already been given.
Borba says patience is another skill children must learn. They do not need instant access to every request, and parents do not have to stop everything the moment a child wants attention. If a child wants to buy something but has not brought the money set aside for it, the answer can be no for now. The lesson is not punishment, Borba says, but understanding that desires are not automatically urgent.
She also encourages parents to help children think about how their actions affect others. If a child grabs a sweet without asking, for example, a parent can ask how the other child may have felt and what might be done differently next time. Borba says children also benefit from chances to give, whether by donating unused toys, helping someone in need or taking part in an age-appropriate act of kindness. The broader goal is to nurture empathy, responsibility and self-control, rather than entitlement.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical judgment, advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
