When talking about feelings overwhelms anxious pupils, structure may help more

Some children who seem emotionally overwhelmed may need practical help with planning, transitions and task management before repeated conversations about their feelings.

For anxious students, more time spent talking about feelings is not always the answer. In a video posted on her site, Dr Karen Dudek Brannan argues that some children who appear emotionally overwhelmed are actually struggling with executive functioning, the mental skills that help people plan, shift between tasks, remember steps and regulate themselves under pressure. Her point is simple: if those underlying skills are weak, asking a child to keep reflecting on emotions can sometimes intensify frustration rather than reduce it.

Brannan revisits two earlier case studies to make that case. One involved a second-grader who struggled to move from the library to music; the other was a student who found gym and schedule changes difficult. In both situations, she says, calming conversations did not alter behaviour in any lasting way. What did help was a more structured approach: preparing the student in advance, supporting them in the moment, then reviewing what happened afterwards so the next day felt more predictable. She says the goal is not to avoid emotional understanding altogether, but to stop overloading students with reflection when they need practical support first.

That emphasis on concrete skill-building is consistent with other executive functioning programmes. UCLA’s thinkSMART initiative, developed by Dr Ellis, focuses on organisation, time management, task initiation and planning through behavioural strategies, with daily reinforcement and parental involvement seen as central to habit formation. Similar school-based curricula such as Neuro Boost also rely on visual supports, predictable routines and scaffolded instruction, while other clinicians recommend breaking tasks into smaller steps and using movement or other preparation strategies to reduce the mental load before a demand is placed on a student.

Brannan also ties the issue closely to anxiety. That relationship is well recognised: executive functioning difficulties can heighten worry, while anxiety can further weaken a child’s ability to focus, make decisions and manage time. Her broader message is that students often benefit more from clearer boundaries, stronger structure and explicit teaching than from repeated debriefing alone. For parents and school staff, the practical takeaway is to look beyond the emotional surface and ask whether the child needs support with planning, memory, transitions or self-talk before expecting them to process what went wrong.