Parents should focus on emotional intelligence as much as academic achievement

New insights highlight the importance of fostering emotional skills in children alongside traditional academic pursuits, with practical tips for parents to nurture resilience, empathy, and self-regulation.

Parents are often urged to prioritise grades, activities and achievement, yet emotional intelligence may matter just as much. According to HelpGuide, Children’s Mercy and UNICEF Romania, emotional intelligence helps children notice, name and manage their feelings while also understanding other people’s emotions, a skill linked to healthier relationships, stronger mental health and better long-term adjustment.

Experts quoted across the related sources say this is not a fixed trait but one children can learn over time. Psychology Today notes that emotional intelligence can be strengthened through practice, while GreatSchools says children with higher emotional intelligence are often more resilient, responsible and better able to regulate their behaviour. UNICEF Romania also stresses that these habits begin at home, where children first learn how adults respond to frustration, sadness and stress.

For younger children, the building blocks are simple but important: emotional awareness, empathy, self-regulation and social skills. Children’s Mercy describes emotional intelligence as the ability to notice and name feelings, manage them and recognise how others may be affected. HelpGuide adds that parents can support this development by modelling calm behaviour, validating children’s feelings and teaching basic problem-solving rather than rushing to silence distress.

Practical steps do not need to be elaborate. GreatSchools and My Baby Guide both recommend expanding children’s emotional vocabulary, encouraging them to talk about what they feel and helping them think about how someone else might see a situation. Storytelling, drawing, journalling and everyday conversations can all give children a safe way to practise expressing emotions and considering other perspectives.

The sources also agree that emotional intelligence is closely tied to social and emotional learning, or SEL. That term refers to skills such as self-awareness, self-management, empathy, relationship-building and responsible decision-making. HelpGuide and Children’s Mercy both point out that these abilities help children cope with big feelings, from tears to tantrums, and make it easier for them to handle conflict, frustration and disappointment in school and at home.

The message from these parenting guides is clear: children do not need perfect caregivers, but they do need present ones. Emotional intelligence grows through repeated, ordinary moments when adults listen, name feelings and guide behaviour with patience. In a competitive world that often rewards academic performance first, these sources suggest that helping children understand emotions may be one of the most useful investments a parent can make.