Behavioural contagion: the key to changing habits at home, says expert

Dr. Iman Abu El Ela emphasises that lasting behaviour change in children and spouses stems from leading by example, highlighting the influence of daily routines and emotional contagion within families.

Dr. Iman Abu El Ela, a specialist in education and behaviour modification, says changing negative habits in children or spouses is rarely achieved through direct orders or repeated advice. Speaking on “Sabah El Balad” on Sada El Balad TV with Mohamed Gouhar, she argued that lasting change begins with good example, because many habits are absorbed from what people see every day at home. She described this as behavioural contagion.

Abu El Ela said children do not learn only from instructions but from what they observe in practice. She pointed to simple routines, such as parents avoiding their phones immediately after waking up, as the kind of everyday conduct that children often copy over time. Her comments echo guidance from Cleveland Clinic and Dartmouth Health, which both note that emotions and behaviour can spread through close contact and that children tend to model what parents do rather than what they are told.

She also said the same principle applies in marriage, where many patterns develop through repetition and familiarity. Differences between personalities are natural, she added, and can either trigger conflict or strengthen a relationship if handled well. That view is broadly consistent with child development and behavioural guidance from Dartmouth Health and the Merck Manual, which stress that family interactions can create self-reinforcing cycles when negative responses keep feeding the same behaviour.

Abu El Ela said the first step in changing any harmful habit is recognising that it exists. In her view, that message is often best delivered first by someone close and trusted, before professional help is sought, because trust makes advice easier to accept. The broader lesson, as other behavioural experts note, is that attention, consistency and warmth can matter as much as correction when families try to shift entrenched patterns.