Child therapists say calm, age-appropriate conversations can help children process frightening news before social media and peers shape the story.
After a fatal school shooting in Bend, Oregon, child therapists in Minneapolis are urging parents to speak to children directly, calmly and early about what happened, rather than waiting for social media or peers to shape the story. The advice has particular resonance in a city that lived through its own school tragedy last year, when families connected to Annunciation Catholic Church and school were pulled into a long period of trauma and recovery. According to CBS News, the Oregon attack left three children and a teacher dead, and two law enforcement sources said the gunman was 16.
Jenny Britton, chief clinical officer at the Washburn Centre for Children in Minneapolis, said children often absorb more than adults realise and are not always equipped to process violence on their own. She told CBS News that “children are dealing with things that, honestly, I think parents of different generations aren’t necessarily prepared for”. Britton said the first priority after the Annunciation shooting was to restore a sense of psychological safety, adding that young people can be reactivated by similar events even when they happened far away. Guidance from the Cleveland Clinic, MaineHealth and the American Academy of Pediatrics all points in the same direction: adults should start the conversation, keep it age-appropriate, avoid graphic detail and listen for what children are actually asking.
Britton said the best conversations often begin with simple, open-ended questions that give children room to explain what they have heard and how they feel. She suggested parents might ask, “What are you thinking about when you hear that story?”, “Tell me your experience in hearing that”, or “How can I help you most right now?” She said children often look first to parents for reassurance, especially when they encounter frightening news through “social media, an influencer, the news, whatever it might be. A neighbor. Another friend.” Health groups advise adults to pay attention to their own reactions as well, because children can pick up on fear, confusion and distress even when those feelings are not spoken aloud.
The goal, Britton said, is to help children feel connected and safe again, not to pretend that nothing upsetting has happened. She said a calm, listening ear can help a child’s nervous system settle, even when a parent does not have perfect words. While adults may feel tempted to keep children home after a tragedy, Britton said it is also important for them to return to routines, play and ordinary activities that restore a sense of normal life. Child health guidance from Cleveland Clinic, MaineHealth and other paediatric experts similarly recommends preserving routines and seeking professional help if fear, sadness or stress do not ease.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical judgment, advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
