Clinicians say boys’ growing need for independence is often part of identity-building, not rejection, and that patient listening can help fathers remain a trusted influence.
Many parents find that once children enter adolescence, conversation can narrow to a few words and family life can feel more distant. But clinicians say that for many boys, the push for independence does not mean rejecting their fathers altogether. Instead, it often reflects a search for identity, with fathers quietly serving as a model for how to move into adulthood.
Feng Tzu-chien, a clinical psychologist at the Ministry of Health and Welfare’s Caotun Psychiatric Centre in Nantou, said younger children tend to relate to parents through unconditional attachment, while teenagers begin to look beyond the family as they shape their own sense of self. In that process, he said, boys pay close attention to the people around them and absorb the attitudes they see most often.
That dynamic matters because adolescents are highly sensitive to how they are treated. Research published in PubMed has found that when children believe parental favouritism is fair, they are less likely to show externalising and internalising behaviour problems and are more likely to have stronger self-esteem. Other studies have also linked perceived parental disapproval or imbalance to lower life satisfaction among teenagers. In practice, that suggests boys are not simply reacting to discipline itself, but to whether they feel respected and treated justly.
Feng said fathers who want a closer relationship with a teenage son are often better served by listening than lecturing. He argued that heavy-handed authority can create a relationship built on hierarchy, while treating a son as an equal who can be consulted and heard is more likely to earn respect. He also recommended giving specific praise rather than blanket criticism, and building shared experiences through sport, outdoor activities, technology or other common interests, where conversation can emerge more naturally.
The centre’s director, Ding Shuo-yen, said fathers play an especially important role in shaping a boy’s personality and mental health. He described a stable father-son relationship as an important psychological buffer against low self-confidence, depression and outside temptations. That view is consistent with wider research showing that paternal involvement can shape boys’ emotional and social development from early childhood onwards, and with parenting guidance that encourages parents to raise boys to be empathetic, mentally healthy and respectful of equality. For families struggling with teenage silence, the message from clinicians is straightforward: a little more patience, a little less confrontation, and a willingness to talk as companions rather than adversaries can make the difference.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical judgment, advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
