Helping children express their feelings as the new school year starts

As children head back to school, parents and carers are encouraged to adopt simple, creative strategies to help youngsters articulate their emotions and build confidence, easing the transition into a new academic year.

As the new school year begins, many children are carrying more than a new timetable in their bags. Excitement, nerves, frustration, loneliness and uncertainty can all sit beneath the familiar, one-word reply of “fine”. For parents and carers, the challenge is not simply asking how the day went, but finding ways to help children name what they are feeling and share it without pressure.

One of the simplest approaches is a feelings check-in. Rather than relying on an open-ended question, adults can offer a small set of emotions, use colour cards or point to facial expressions, giving children an easier starting point. Younger children may respond well to matching a face to their mood, while older ones can rate how they feel on a scale. The aim is to build emotional vocabulary gradually, without turning the conversation into an interview.

Drawing can also unlock discussion. Asking a child to sketch a moment from the school day can reveal more than direct questioning, especially when the child does not yet have the words to explain what happened. Once the drawing is finished, gentle follow-up questions such as what was taking place and how they felt in that moment can open the door to a wider conversation. Sometimes the picture will point to a worry; at other times it may capture a friendship, a small success or a moment of pride.

Experts say routines matter, too. The Kids Mental Health Foundation advises parents to keep school-related conversations and emotional check-ins predictable, whether they happen after school, at dinner or before bed. Regular patterns can make talking about feelings feel normal rather than triggered only by a problem. The same guidance also suggests preparing children in advance for changes in routine, including new expectations, classroom arrangements and after-school commitments.

When children struggle to explain what is bothering them, prompts can make the task less daunting. Simple starters such as “One thing I enjoyed today was…”, “I felt worried when…” or “Tomorrow I would like help with…” help break a crowded school day into manageable pieces. The Kids Mental Health Foundation says parents can also support the transition by listening carefully, acknowledging concerns and teaching coping strategies when anxiety is high.

Some activities work best because they feel like play. The Growing Hands On Kids website describes hands-on emotion activities, including a back-to-school emotions bin, which helps children explore feelings through simple objects and symbols. Similar ideas can be adapted at home with toy figures, role-play or story-based conversations. A child may find it easier to talk about a character who feels nervous about asking for help than to speak directly about their own worries.

Confidence can grow from smaller moments as well as larger achievements. A child who raised a hand in class, remembered a morning routine or spoke to someone new has already met a challenge worth noticing. Parents can reinforce that progress by asking what felt difficult at first and what helped. Over time, these conversations teach children that effort matters, not just outcomes.

The most effective approach is often simply to keep the invitation open. Children do not always speak when adults expect them to, and they may be more willing to talk while walking, drawing, playing or settling down for bed. By making room for those moments, families can give children more than a chance to report on school.They can help them build the language, confidence and trust needed to share what is really going on.