Experts in Vietnam highlight the importance of clear boundaries, trusted adult support, and safety plans for teenagers navigating intense relationships, emphasising the need for respect, trust, and early intervention to prevent harm.
Teenagers in intense relationships need clear boundaries, trusted adults and a safety plan when things go wrong. Vietnamese experts quoted by Thanh Nien said young people should understand that dating does not cancel privacy, personal autonomy or the right to say no.
According to Nguyễn Hải Uyên, a therapist with the Vietnam Psychotherapy Association, teenagers are entitled to boundaries around their bodies, personal information, mobile phones, passwords, private time and social contacts. She warned that demands to inspect a phone or reveal a password are not signs of care but of control, adding that healthy relationships depend on trust and respect rather than surveillance. Guidance from the Massachusetts Department of Public Health and Mission West Virginia also stresses clear digital and emotional boundaries as part of safe, healthy relationships.
The article also says teenagers do not have to stage a face-to-face break-up if they fear stalking, threats or pressure. Break-ups can be delivered in a safer format, with a trusted adult informed in advance, evidence preserved and privacy settings tightened. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health similarly advises young people to think through safety before, during and after ending a relationship, while Parents and caregivers should take safety seriously and help their children choose the least risky way to communicate the decision.
If a former partner threatens to release private images, Uyên said the young person is not to blame for having trusted someone. The advice is not to bargain by sending more images or giving in to further demands. Instead, the teenager should keep messages, avoid deleting material and tell a reliable adult immediately. Teen guidance from KidsHealth and other break-up resources also encourages young people to seek support from a trusted friend or adult rather than trying to manage the situation alone.
The piece also addresses a harder scenario: when one partner threatens self-harm to stop a break-up. Nguyễn Thanh Sang, who leads a psychology, rehabilitation and traditional medicine unit at Children’s Hospital 2, said such threats must be taken seriously, but a student should not carry the responsibility alone. Parents should be told immediately so that the person at risk can be connected with appropriate medical help. The report notes that Vietnam’s national child protection hotline 111 is available for support.
For teenagers who have been rejected, the experts urge restraint. Trần Duy Tâm, a mental health lecturer, said the brain does not fully mature until about age 25, which helps explain why some adolescents react impulsively after a split. Uyên said sadness and clinginess are normal, but harm is never justified. If emotions surge, the advice is to stop repeated messaging, avoid turning up at a former partner’s home or school, write down feelings instead of sending them and seek out an adult who can listen. That support network may be easier to build if families use what one expert called a “five-finger rule”: five trusted people a young person can turn to in a crisis.
Lawyer Hạ Thị Thu Thảo said a past relationship gives no one the right to force contact or continued involvement. Where there is stalking, blocking the road, coercion or credible threats, families should alert the school and report the matter to the authorities. She added that the response should fit the level of danger, and that adults should preserve original messages, times, accounts and conversations without editing them. She also cautioned against posting the material publicly or encouraging a child to provoke the other person for more evidence if that would raise the risk.
The wider lesson is blunt: in teenage relationships, safety matters more than a neat ending. Whether the issue is control, blackmail, fear of violence or post-break-up obsession, the answer is the same: bring in adults early, document what is happening and treat boundaries as non-negotiable.
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical judgment, advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
